As it has taken me something like a year to get my shit together enough to start an author blog (more than enough time for most people to make a small human), I feel like this first installment should really rock.
But then as soon as you say something like that, writer’s block sets in because it’s like “holy shit this has to really be amazing” and who needs that kind of pressure? Especially since nobody’s paying me to write this, and it’s really just a place for me to swear more than they let me swear on women.com and also write a lot more about my cats, and shoes, and sometimes to remind you to buy one of my books (look left).
Eventually, my mom will find this site and ask me to swear less and then I’ll become blocked again, stop swearing so much, but then start writing a lot more about sex to make her sorry she ever asked me to cut back on the f-word. That’s the one she doesn’t like. So I better get it out of my system now because I’m not all that good at keeping secrets from my mom. So, fuck. Fuckity fuck. There.
It’s my goal to post something new every other day, so look for new posts about once a week at best. Actually, don’t even look for them, I’ll let you know on Facebook or Twitter or whatever. Stop looking at me like that!
So until then, let’s just enjoy this for what it is … something to look at on your smart phone while you’re waiting for your blind date to show up or for them to call your name at Great Clips. You’re all beautiful, and I adore you for making it to this last paragraph.